Hello Strangers on the internet!
Hope you are having a lovely day and taking care of yourself. I wanted to share a little something on this space today. I mentioned last night that I will be starting a new job in February and that I am grateful for that opportunity. However, today I turned down that job offer.
I was referred for this job by an ex employer, whom I really respect and have a good relationship with. I am pretty sure she is unaware of the working conditions or the reality of that place otherwise she would not have suggested it.
So I called the person who was hiring and I instantly knew in my gut that this is not right. I am not feeling it. I decided to overlook my gut feeling and proceeded to a mini phone interview. I should not have. That person was highly inappropriate and I was asked about my parents, their occupation, my religion, the way I dress and what not. I was cringing the whole time. I do not want to go into too many details because it’s not even worth mentioning.
I gave that person the benefit of the doubt because they were old. BIG MISTAKE! Never ever let someone get away with something because of their age. I think it’s an asian thing, respect your elders. That person did not even realise how inappropriate they were being. After that phone call, they told me to wait for a couple days, their board will meet and they will inform me of their decision. The next day itself, I get the call, I have been selected.
I accepted the offer, for all the wrong reasons. I settled for this job. A few days later, I find out that I have a friend working there, about to leave the place. He tells me that the working conditions are horrible. They are racist, sexist and stingy when it comes to paying. I instantly decide not to take up the job. I call the person who hired me and tell them I am passing on the offer. Suffice it to say that the person tried to guilt trip me and was inappropriate again. This time I did not take shit.
I held my ground and I did not give in. Never ever settle for something if you are not feeling it in your gut. There is a huge difference in refusing to try at all and that very strong, definite feeling that this is not right. That person was so out of line and completely against my values, my beliefs and what I stand for. They did not even pretend to respect me.
Moral of the story, do not settle for less. Be it for a job, for a relationship or anything else in life. Also, if people are not going to respect you, leave the situation or set boundaries. I did all that today and I feel so proud of myself. I am not settling and I am not putting myself through unnecessary drama or stress. I was not taught any of those skills and it took me years to reach this point. If you are someone who struggles with boundaries, I would encourage you to work on it. Once you learn how to do that, people will not take you for granted.